She groped a dwarf, fondled a giantess and, to all intents and purposes, had sex with a car.
Having pulled eight recent concerts after an allergic reaction to antibiotics put her in hospital, Miley Cyrus was back to full twerk power at her first London arena show since 2009.
The singer behind Can’t be Tamed grabbed her crotch, waggled her arse to infinity and wore outfits that could only have been more revealing if they incorporated X-rays and diary entries.
This former Disney star used more F-words than pages 62-74 of the dictionary and surrounded herself with puppets, eye-popping cartoons and a collossal, glowing-eyed dog like a kids’ show gone very bad indeed.
Between songs she ranted and rambled with barely a pause for breath, advocating the importance of “being yourself” and, less appealingly for the many parents accompanying young children in the audience, going on at considerable length about the health benefits of smoking marijuana.